and you said cock pushups were impossible
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
