plz talk dirty to me
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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