today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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