how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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