im drinking this country out of the recession.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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