My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
