I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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