remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.