new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I need to align my fucking chakras
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
