Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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