the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
