Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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