This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not