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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.

  Fav 8 2003 1334

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• (845): View more from New York

  Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER

  Fav 5 3711 1162

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...

  Fav 14 6062 1507

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.

  Fav 4 3255 1120

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• (772): View more from Florida

  I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away

  Fav 6 1183 701

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• (307): View more from Wyoming

  I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.

  Fav 4 546 1212

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• (805): View more from California

  Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.

  Fav 4 1100 505

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Did you offer her some?

  (330): View more from Ohio

  If only. Current status: Not that clever.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.

  Fav 2 643 312

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• (813): View more from Florida

  For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?

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