So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration