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• (440): View more from Ohio

  i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime

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• (415): View more from California

  Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (225): View more from Louisiana

  Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas

  (1-918): View more from Oklahoma

  I thank god almighty everyday

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (707): View more from California

  We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly

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• (530): View more from California

  There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.

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