I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?