windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
