i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I stole a fireplace last night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
