Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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