I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
