Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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