There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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