Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
