booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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