I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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