I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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