the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
