after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
