New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
