shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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