I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
