Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I believe in your delicious
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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