I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
