She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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