Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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