He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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