i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Houston, we have a blender
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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