just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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