I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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