he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize