Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
