This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
