you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
