no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
