I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
