i used baking grease as lip gloss
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
