what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
