HIV tests are more positive than that guy
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
