Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
