That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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