i will never coherently bang her
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Sext me about skeletons
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize