One girl and one boy is just not enough.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
