I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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