God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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