smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
