is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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