Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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