Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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