I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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