thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
