the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
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Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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