IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
