I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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