Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
