I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
