I seem to have left my pride at pride
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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