how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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