Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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