Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
