all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Everyone says I win the strip club
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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