whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I need moral support for this bender
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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