yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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