i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
