Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
