Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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