it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I am naked and annoyed.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
God I need to hump something, right now.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
