Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize