so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
